Day 18: Meeting Your Inner Team

Step 1: Plug in your headphone / ear-pods and follow the guided practice

Step 2: Read This Concept Guide

The Inner Team

When you are discussing about basketball players, what does it mean when someone says that he is a point-guard and the other one is a shooting guard the third one is a centre?

It would mean a player who plays at a particular position, right? And what does it mean that they play at that position? Does it not mean that they have a ‘specific’ role in the team?

While the entire team is trying to contribute to do their best and score a win, but each player is expected to chip in with different role. You expect a point-guard to do something and then you know a centre is responsible for something else.

Role – every player in a team has a position and a role based on their position.

Well, that’s not just about basketball, that’s equally true about you and your mind also.

You are not a person, there is a team inside you. And YOU are suppose to be the COACH of that team.

Your Inner Team

Everyone of us is an individual but within us, there are many individual entities or parts, each one with a specific role.

Think of each of this part as a tiny little person living inside you. Each of this part has a specific ‘intent’ and will produce different behaviours to fulfil its intent.

For example, there might be a part of you whose role is to manage schedule. So let’s say if you have to travel abroad for a game and on your way to airport you get stuck in traffic. Until you were stuck in the traffic, you were calm and then suddenly that part of you who is responsible to manage your schedule becomes anxious…in our common language, we say – I became anxious but in reality, the part of you whose job is to make sure that you are in time, that part became anxious because it fears that you might miss the flight.

Likewise, a part of you has a role to make sure that you do your best. And then in a game you make a mistake, you hear a voice inside you, bashing you -damn, you blew that chance. In common language we’d say you felt frustrated. But it is the part of you that wants you to always do the best, which is frustrated and it is just trying to tell you that it is disappointed.

If you will look closer, you’ll find that the voice inside your head that says – hey you will be late for your flight is different than the voice inside you that says – damn, you blew that chance. That’s because both those voices are coming from different parts.

Just as you have players for specific positions of the game, you have different parts who have different roles to help you manage your life efficiently.

Positive Intent, Negative Behaviour

All of these parts have positive intent – to help you or to make your life better in some way. But some of these parts have terrible behaviour patterns, dysfunctional behaviours. Remember – intent is always positive, but sometimes behaviours are unproductive or even destructive.

I am sure you will recognise some of these parts and their positive intent in yourself. Here are some examples.

You worry about what others will think about you and your performance. (Worry is the destructive behaviour but there is a positive intent – that part wants to be liked by all, it doesn’t want to feel judged, it wants validation – very pure, noble, positive intent but a destructive behaviour).

You make a mistake and the inner critic inside you is bashing you. (Those harsh words your inner critic uses is the destructive behaviour but if you see the intent – it is trying to help you to not make a mistake. Again a terrible behaviour but noble intent)

Our goal is to keep the intent of all the parts and transform the destructive behaviour.

But to do that, first we will need to meet our parts – we will need to meet our own inner team.

Step 3: Do This Task Everyday for A Week

🔴 Whenever you can, in any situation, just notice as many different parts of yourself as they surface and become active.

🔴 Notice the switching of different parts as it happens. For example you are studying or working – some parts of you were active there who know how to handle that situation. You come out and a friend calls, and suddenly the way you talk with a friend is different than in the study or work room…what just happened? You switched from ‘learning or working’ part to a ‘friend’ part.

🔴 Finally as you see different parts coming up, can you give them names based on their roles – just to isolate them from other parts and so that next time the same parts comes up you recognise it.

🔴 Please share how many different parts you discovered, what roles they had, what interesting names you gave them?